


letting go

by yomigami



Category: BlazBlue
Genre: Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-15
Updated: 2015-12-15
Packaged: 2018-05-06 22:04:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5432426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yomigami/pseuds/yomigami
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jin comes to stay with his nii-san after being in the hospital. Ragna faces frustrating decisions.</p>
            </blockquote>





	letting go

**Author's Note:**

> this is the first fanfic i've ever written and i wrote the whole thing in class

Ragna didn't expect this to happen. Whatever the reason was, his younger (and crazier) brother Jin had needed to crash in his apartment for a few weeks. It was a relief to not have Jin at his throat constantly, but it was even more of a burden having to take care of him. Jin was like a little kid, more or less like a baby than he had been when he was an actual toddler, but Ragna had to cope with it for the next few days. 

Living in the north had been much a challenge for Ragna the Bloodedge. He wasn't a major fan of the cold or iced-over roads when he was trying to get to work on time. Two days short of a week ago, give or take, Ragna had almost run into a stop sign trying to get to the grocery store. After worrying everyone by breaking an arm for a good month, he decided to never go out for groceries unless he absolutely had to. Someone would bring them if he asked, and as stubborn as he was, he realized that it'd be the most efficient way to get what he needed. Forget having to leave his apartment, he'd just have a great time cooping himself up inside.

That was when he got the call. As soon as the phone let out its usual brrr-ing sound, immediately Ragna expected the worst. Whenever he received phone calls, from friends or not, they were usually urgent. The only reason this was so is because when Ragna talked on the phone, he shouted, and the low quality audio would drown out his words. So his friends refused to even talk to him over mobile, scared they’d get a headache. Not this time, though, his voice was hushed when he had to respond. It was the local hospital. Apparently, Major Jin Kisaragi had somehow hurt himself running down a median strip, barefoot. He broke his knee and ended up with an inordinate amount of scratches. Of course at first Ragna didn't believe this. Jin was too composed to do something as stupid as that. Maybe considering the options would do him good, the hospital staff said. Even if Ragna hated his little brother so much, he wouldn't leave him hanging like this. He drove to the hospital to pick him up, because surely Jin had been lonely in the hospital bed for days. Not only that, but Jin was prone to being quite demanding to other people, especially those who were serving him. The hospital staff wouldn't be too pleased if they had to deal with the brat even a second longer.

\--

The car ride home was quiet. Jin pointed out that Ragna's car smelled like pine trees. He hadn't noticed, but he guessed it did. Ragna never paid much attention to keeping his car so tidy. He wouldn't let Jin sit in the front seat, fearing he'd start flipping out for one reason or another. That's not what he told him, though. He felt that telling Jin what he wanted to hear would keep him pretty pacified.

"Sit in the back. I don't want you breaking something else." Ragna sounded somewhat frazzled, and Jin picked up on it.

"Is Nii-san angry with me?"

Don't talk with that tone, Ragna wanted to say. Don't just talk like you're a kid again and you can get away with it. Hearing Jin talk like that made him blast back to his days as a young teen, with Jin pulling on his sleeve asking for attention, and he couldn't bear seeing Jin as a little kid again, let alone pity him. 

"No." A matter of fact answer from his brother would keep Jin Kisaragi quiet.

\--

When the pair finally reached the apartment complex, a wordless Ragna had to help his brother up the stairs. He thought nothing besides 'he's getting really heavy', as if he'd been carrying Jin every day for years now. They were careful not to slip on the frosted steps, although Jin seemed to be having less of a problem for obvious reasons. 

The apartment was warm, as Ragna always kept it, lightly furnished and having the slight scent of cinnamon. He cooked, alright. He baked, that was why it smelled so. He wasn't going to start baking cakes for Jin, though. Even if he was staying here, he didn't deserve it. 

The apartment seemed neat at first glance, but there was a tangled pile of laundry in the corner, which Jin was sure to send an icy glare at. Ragna set him on the couch, rather roughly, to which Jin responded with a plaintive grunt. 

"Nii-san's so rude. I'm injured, and he won't even take care with my body." The boy smirked.

"Shut up." Ragna wanted to slap him. He restrained himself and shuffled to the kitchen.

"I know you're staying here, but you've gotta do stuff yourself.. I'm not gonna bust my ass for your every need."

Ragna watched Jin cross his arms and puff out his cheeks. His eyes were soft and puppy-like.. Not puppy-like! Ragna shouldn't think of stupid things like that. He had to do everything in his power to keep from falling for that trick. Ragna just huffed and turned around, feeling around in the pantry to distract himself.

"Don't pout, Jin."

\--

Sleeping arrangements were probably the worst part about his younger brother staying here. Jin had insisted he sleep with his nii-san, but to hell if Ragna wanted any of his body parts near him while he was unconscious. He couldn't just ignore Jin's wishes though, if he did, Jin would proclaim that he was hurt, so 'nii-san had to do whatever he said'. This on top of copious amounts of whining finally pushed Ragna past his limit and he ultimately had to allow Jin to have one allotted snuggle. Just one. In bed, he was fearful at first. Jin could just call Yukianesa any time, and Ragna would be out like a light. Maybe Jin had been feigning the injury just to get close to Ragna. 

The way he acted suggested otherwise.

2 AM came, on the first Wednesday. Both of them hadn't been able to sleep for some time now. They spent two or three hours mindlessly watching movies in the complete darkness, which neither of them could even recall the title of. The combined weight of both of the boys on Ragna's junky old couch seemed to suffocate it and make the room look a little deader. To Jin, this was some sort of silent bonding activity, so he didn't protest. To Ragna, it was an annoyance.

During the end of what might've been the fourth movie, Jin's eyelids became heavy. Ragna watched him. He tried to keep his eyes open, focused on the luminescent screen. He wasn't making much progress, because they finally drooped and he started to lean towards his brother's side. Panicking, Ragna grabbed his shoulders. It was the first time he had willingly put his hands on Jin this week. Pushing him off wasn't an option, Jin was too heavy and Ragna was tired too. He tended to only stay awake to make sure Jin didn't try anything crazy. No, wait, he thought. He figured he had to move Jin, his foot was falling asleep now that all of Jin's body weight was resting on it, and it hurt. How was he supposed to move him, though? Picking him up seemed the only logical conclusion, even if he had objected to it moments earlier.

Jin's body was.. surprisingly light. He'd been heavy like an anchor when they were walking up the stairs, possibly because he was awake and moving around. Now.. He just felt like a feather, and Ragna hated to say, he seemed to be giving off a soft aura. Almost like he was a baby again. 

People look younger when they're asleep.

\--

Putting Jin safely down on the bed was a chore. Ragna didn't want to drop him and hurt him any more (he had limped everywhere, constantly, for the past three whole days), but at the same time he was absolutely ticked at the things he had been thinking about. It wasn't Jin's fault he looked cute when he was asleep, and it wasn't Jin's fault that it reminded him of his past and made him angry. Thinking that to himself lifted a load off of his shoulders and he sighed, finally placing Jin onto the foam mattress. He tucked him in underneath the fluffy comforter. He'd had that comforter for years upon years, even when he was younger. He kept it away from the world, though, so it seemed almost brand new and ageless in the pale light, the same way Jin looked. It compliments him, Ragna thought. What a stupid thought.

Some primal and fraternal instinct was in the back of his mind as he stared at Jin. Not angry, not resentful as usual, but caring. He didn’t want to think about it, so he pulled himself away from Jin’s bed side and walked out. He couldn’t help looking back, seeing if Jin had moved, or breathed, or anything. He didn’t, he just stayed so still, so innocent.

Ragna felt right leaving him alone to sleep like that. That way he wouldn’t have to deal with any prying questions in the morning, unless Jin had been pretending just to trick him. It was likely he did, it was a pretty “Jin” thing to do. He wouldn’t worry about that now, he told himself. He only paced outside the room, frustrated with himself and his thoughts. He was thinking so many things, but.. Strangely, the thoughts weren’t coming at him as fast as they should’ve. They swirled in his head like tar, pulling everything else in, but they were there as if they had been there since the moment he was born. There were too many decisions to make in one moment, not with his impulses. But he couldn’t stay away. He hated remembering his childhood, and unfortunately it drew him to Jin like a moth to a flame. He hated thinking about what his brother did. One last time, however, maybe Ragna could have a happy memory.

He slid the door open, cracking it and peeking in. Jin hadn’t moved at all. He pushed it open further, sliding a foot in to stop it from making noise. As he shut the door behind him, steadily, almost agonizingly slow, he was filled with relief. None of his movements had stirred anything in the room, it was silent. The only thing he could hear was his ears ringing duly in the absence of sound, and Jin’s gentle breaths. Ragna moved to the other side of the bed, hastily now, pushing the comforter up and crawling under. He kicked his legs, stretching out, then paused and lie still. He shut his eyes. Jin moved. Did he wake him up?

“Nii-san..” He slurred his words when he spoke, and when Ragna lifted an eyelid he saw Jin rolled over, staring back at him, his eyes hazed with sleep.

“Yeah..?” Ragna kept his voice quiet, unsure of himself.

“I’m cold…” Jin whined pitifully.

Ragna furrowed his eyebrows. Jin was always cold, but he never complained. So why now? He moved to put his hands behind his back and look away from his little brother. Something drew him back though. He held his arm out to Jin begrudgingly. Jin took the invitation and untwisted himself from the cocoon of blankets, crawling underneath Ragna’s arm. He nuzzled against his chest, seemingly wrapping himself in Ragna’s warmth. Grumbling, Ragna dropped his arm and put it around Jin, pulling him closer. He was oddly comforted by this, having Jin this close to him. Jin felt soft, fragile, as if any rougher touch could shatter him. It felt good to be holding something so precious. It never felt good until now.

It was only when he awoke in the morning that he realized he didn’t want to let go.


End file.
